i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
