So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
