Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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