Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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