walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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