Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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