I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
