I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
