Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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