So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
