We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
