ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
