I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
