I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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