I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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