It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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