Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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