I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum