you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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