so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
