I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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