wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
