Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
