You work out of a Hotel?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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