Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you had me at cake vodka
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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