So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
