i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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