do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
