apparently the secret to your success is patron
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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