i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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