WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
