I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
