No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
