His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
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that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
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P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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