i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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