It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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