How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
