Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
