so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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