we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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