You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
