You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
