he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
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I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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