Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
