Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
