you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
