Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
