break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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