the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind