Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
