I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize