Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize