at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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