Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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