I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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