If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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