Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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