I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
