he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
