why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
