I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
